“If we actually start writing a blog together
what will people think? Are you totally comfortable with everyone you know reading it? What if people don’t read it? What if they do? What if they judge us, what if, what if, what if?”
The question of What if can be one of the biggest factors in preventing us from living out the full abundant life that the Lord has for us. Because for some reason, if you're anything like us, the question is usually only ever followed by one of 3 options; He thinks, she thinks, they think…..
Over the past few months the Lord has spoken to us very clearly about voices and the impact that both positive and negative voices can have on our lives.
For those of you who like to visualise, picture this: for a long time, when making a choice about anything, whether it was about where we went, what we wore, how we acted or even what we said, there was a full committee meeting taking place in our head before we came to a decision. Who do you think were the members of that committee? Family, friends, anybody else? The answer was all of the above. The worst part was, at most of the meetings we realised we hadn’t actually been a voting member or in fact present at all. I suppose the question we have asked is, why have we given the wrong voices authority over not just what we do or say, but how we view ourselves?
Have you ever been there? Where you seem to ask and value everyone else's opinion about your life before your own? Why do we do that?
The result may not always be helpful. In the battlefield of your mind, and that’s exactly what it is, the devil has the power to take you down further and make you think worse of yourself than any human voice ever could. The bible calls him “a liar and the father of lies” (John 8:44 NIV) and he can use people to plant seeds of doubt, hurt, and fear. Depending on the state of the soil of your mind, and what the seed is fed, these can begin to grow out of control. In fact, regardless of what is going on in the world around you, good or bad, these thoughts when let grow, can dominate everything and start to change who you are.
We have been there, ending up in a darker place deeper than we ever dared to go. When you live with major insecurities and low self esteem, it is much easier to hear and feed the negative voices. The worst part being that these voices influence you on the inside and on the outside to everyone else you seem completely fine. Infact, you’re the life and soul of the party. What else could you be? At what point is it ever possible to bring someone else up to speed with the thousand imaginary conversations of self loathing you have had in your head?
The thing is, you can be surrounded by loving voices, but they can be drowned out by the negative voices and thoughts that you would rather choose to believe. These thoughts can breed paranoia at an unhealthy rate and this poison can become self destructive. Why do we so often find it difficult to hear good things about ourselves? Are we not used to hearing it? Or do we not hear it because we don’t believe it to be true?
At one point in my life the voices of negativity had become completely overwhelming. I had no room to think or process and I was exhausted with the inability to actually be myself at either home or in work. I sat down on the 7th May last year (2019) with my bible and my sketchbook and surrendered my entire life's situation to the Lord. I remember playing Lauren Daigle’s “You Say” as I sat in my studio alone. I had no intention of creating anything particular, I just wanted to close my eyes and be still. The first line of the song is “I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough”. I remember in complete frustration, with my eyes closed making what I thought were stabbing marks. As the song went on, I was reminded of what the God of heaven says about me-my hand relaxed and I felt safe in His presence. At the end of the song, I opened my eyes and looked at the page, and in what had been a blind subconscious drawing, there was a mark that resembled a portrait of Christ. The thing I was immediately drawn to was the stabbing marks I had made that now featured as a crown of thorns on His head. I remember the weight lifting from me as I thought about what was said of Him- “He was despised and rejected by people. He was a man of sorrows, familiar with suffering” (Isaiah 53:3 GWT).
Something changed for me that day. In the still small voice I heard him say- “I have felt the pain of those thorns in your head, I have felt rejected and alone, but this is what I say about you.. “I have loved you with an everlasting love.” (Jeremiah 31:3 NKJV). I had a choice to make that day- would I believe the final line of the song that says “I believe what You say of me, I am yours.” Why do we find it so hard to believe that God loves us? Is it because we don’t think we are worthy of love? Or because we think love is something we need to earn?
His opinion of us and His love for us is constant, something that we cannot earn and something that cannot be taken away: even on our worst day, regardless of what we think about ourselves, He still would have died for us, to redeem us and call us His own. The love of God is not an opinion, it is not fake news, His love is unconditional. That it can be hard to understand if our only point of reference for love has been human love, especially if your only association with love is hurt, but He is the source of love and you are of such great value to Him. And value is determined by the price someone is willing to pay, His love made Him swap His Son for you. When you hand everything to Him, things are put into perspective, you belong to Jesus and are sons and daughters of the Kingdom. Paul reminds us: “For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.” (Romans 8:15). No one in the history of the world has ever adopted anyone by accident. He chose you. He made you and loves you EXACTLY the way you are. So regardless of what others say about you or even what you say about yourself, He has called you His own and it is with assurance that you should be confident and be able to live as the authentic you; His unique design. Out of all the voices you could choose to believe, that one, is the voice of truth.
The landscape of the committee meeting has to change! We must have a voice in our own lives, and we have to hear the one who gave us our voice.
I was listening to a guest on UCB 2 talking about the importance of identity, she suggested that if you don't know who you are, then you will sell yourself to the highest bidder. Let's be honest, there are many who would like to steal your identity, whether it is online advertisers, celebrities, social media, your bank or your job etc. We can put our hope and trust in things that have no lasting value and do not give us the peace we really desire. I'm not saying these things don't have value, but when your back is against the wall, where does your hope come from? We live in a world where truth is an opinion and people are filtered into the best version of themselves, but, when you know you are a child of God then you live with courage, purpose, value and intentionality.
Let your identity be grounded in this fact, that you are loved and that the God of love looks at you through the only filter that truly perfects you; His Son.
So what do we do about the voices in our lives- well, you decide which of them to listen to. The thing is, there isn’t room for them all. We have found, the more airtime you give to the voice of God, through spending time in His word, listening to and encouraging others and filling our heads with songs of praise, the voices of the enemy are drowned out and can completely fade away.
“The LORD is our God, and we are his people, the sheep he takes care of in his own pasture. Listen to God's voice today!” (Psalm 95:7 CEV)
Lauren Daigle - You Say https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIaT8Jl2zpI
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